Hi everyone, well this last month has certainly been a journey of enlightenment. The last time I wrote as you will have read, I was in a very bad place. After visiting my doctor a couple of times, changing medication, and nothing really changing. I decided to put my faith where my heart really is. With spiritual healing, many times now I have been told I have an aura around me, and that I am a healer, so why not try it.
This was so profound, and made such a miraculous difference to my well being, it was almost unbelievable. To me it felt natural, but even "I" was amazed and kept waiting for the fall to happen, almost disbelieving what was happening to me and the stuff that I was able to see. I will not go into all the details, but broadly speaking, I found a healer, who revisited my past life, also my future life. Now I know there are lots of you out there who are very sceptical about this sort of thing, but all I can say is that this is my experience, it is not for me to lead anyone to this path it is personal choice.
So my healer does healing work on me, finding where trauma is in my body and doing healing work on those parts. It was interesting that the first thing she said to me is that I was screaming inside, anyone with depression knows that feeling very well! gradually over the next two weeks a change in me was taking place,I could see myself very clearly, but at a distance, I could see myself coming back, but I was still an empty shell. Over this period a friend of mine also gave me regular Reiki treatments.
After less than two weeks I attended a spiritual workshop, where again my aura was felt and one of the healers on that day singled me out to do more healing on me. The day its self was very interesting, and I would even go as far as to say it was one of the most special days in my life, in so far as it enabled me to feel and see what had been missing in my life, and that I can access it myself with guidance.
That was on Sunday, by Monday I could actually see myself as another person just beyond my grasp, but knew I was nearly back, Tuesday I was back, and I could hardly believe it, by Wednesday everybody noticed! I could look in the mirror, I could put my make up on, I was alive again, and "wow" did it feel good.
By Friday when I got to market my other trader friends could not believe the change either, my artist friend actually took his glasses off to look at my face, and admitted it was a miracle, and he kept coming back just to check! Every friend I have encounter since then has said " you look so much better, we were so worried, it was not you".
The following Friday when I arrived in the small dark hours of the morning at Bramtome Market, The stall holder next to me, a lovely French/ Mexican woman came up to me and said that "I was so beautiful, and look so well, and full of life" and how have I done it, so I will pass my knowledge on.
Some big changes since I last wrote, George has moved on to Lycee ( which is like college) but he boards there Monday to Friday, big change for him at only 15yrs. He is training to be an electrician as well as continuing his education, I am pleased to say he has taken to it like a duck to water and is really enjoying it, made lots of new friends and given him a new perspective on his future goals. So the house is very quiet now, which feels a little strange, but Max is more than making up for it bombing about on his 50cc moblette. This little bike had been sitting in one of our pig sheds since we bought the place and god knows for how many years before that, so I was amazed when Max got it out, bought some fuel, and it started! so Max can now be seen tearing up and down the lanes, at a sensible speed, he tells me!
My lovely French man filters in and out of my life, he is still in a big hole I think, and is floundering around desperately trying to replace the life he once had, think he has a fixed idea of how life should be, and I really don't fit the picture! apparently I am to nice, and I think, scare him to death! This has been a bit of an eye opener, and a little sad at times, but all a learning curve on the cultural differences. French people do not particularly like change, and tend to stick to the way they have done things for years, this seems to go for relationships as well, to some extent. When I met this man his picture was "this is what I have" big lovely house over looking fields, swimming pool, good job and so on, and want to start a beautiful story" well, once divorce set in, his life fell apart, and starting a new story became just too much with someone like me. I change from day to day, I am really unconventional and you never know what I might do next! I can see how this does not fit with the picture he has, it requires him to step outside the box! To go down a road that he is not familiar with. To boldly go where no man has been before!! ( well not exactly, but couldn't resist that line) Has he got the guts to do it? time will tell I suppose, but at the moment no!
I do not want to walk the same roads as I have walked before, I want life to be full of different stuff, spontaneous, and full of laughter. Most of the time it is, and one thing I can say is that there is rarely a dull moment in this house! And that's just the way I like it ;)
