I can not believe how fast this year is flying by, and how many chances happen in so short a time. For many years I thought I did not like change, and have been a little frightened of it, but I now find I am not afraid of change any more. I look back over the last few years and am amazed at just how many changes I have gone through, and still come out smiling.
This line of thought has come about not just because of my own personal changes, but by the changes to the lives of people I hold dear to my heart. One of those friends just happened to say that she would maybe move from here after the children are all independent, this friend is one of my rocks in life. I was shaken by this statement, although this was just a passing thought on her part, just expressing possibilities, with no great intention to do any thing. Nevertheless I suddenly felt unstable.
Not to long after that my friend Lisa announced that she would be returning to America at the end of the summer for financial reasons, my world took another jolt, as she is another one of my rocks. Suddenly life seems to be changing to fast and I was wobbleing.
But slowly I realise I am not wobbleing that much, and that my own life may just as easily take a different direction, but that does'nt seem to faze me at all any more, change is ok, and opens up so many possibilities in life. Friends, good friends, will always be with me no matter where they live.
Finding a new love in my life has been a learning curve to, one I am not finding easy. Funny how I always thought I was not in control of life, that I sort of crashed through it! now I realise I was, and am, in total control! But when I am not in control, wow! how I lose it! A realisation that is taking some ajusting to,
As I said in my last blog I met a new man, like him at lot, a big lot! and the feeling is mutual, but he has some issues to get through, some issues that are hard for him to deal with, he is a kind and sensitive man, and does not want me to be involved with his problems, and to give him time and space to sort himself out. So this is were I find out I can not be in control, waiting is not one of my best attributes, I want to jump in and save him, sort it all out! be a ride in the park for me!. But no, I have to leave him to sort it his own way, in his own time, Another one of life,s lessons I have to learn, "to wait" stand back and do nothing.
So the sun is shining and life is good, George is having his Birthday Bash in the garden, about 15 young people have camped out in the garden last night, I left them to BBQ, there were flames leaping from the BBQ at one point, and one young man appeared at the door to ask for water to put the flames out! at that point I did step in and take control for a while, but let them carry on after that.
Don't think anyone has slept much, play station and films have been played, so far one table and one chair have come to grief, which they tell me they will repair!! I have just delivered a mound of American Pancakes and suggested that a rubbish bag could be used to put rubbish in perhaps? There I go again being in control! let go. One young lady has just come in to wash her face, as chocolate spread seems to be all over her face, I think George might have something to do with this as I clocked him being chased up the road a few minutes earlier.
Still, There is no greater feeling than seeing them enjoying themselves.
